T-O-L E-D-O

My Roommate freshman year was a cheerleader for UT, so of course she knew all the football players. So one night we go to the dorm room of the defensive line. Out of the refrigerator comes a very large water bottle of brown liquor. After Hanna and I drink the entire water bottle full of the unknown liquor, out comes a brand spankin new bottle of Southern Comfort. After that bottle was about half way gone a new friend joins us, The kicker. Now UT is a very small school and it does not have a very good football team, but you still feel a little bit of excitement when you meet people that actually play on the team. Well we were shooting the shit when this little fellow walks in. Now you must keep in mind that I was completely hammered. He sits down and is completely sober looking rather gloomy. He sits there not saying much. The whiskey quickly disappeared, so out came beers. (Bottles. which happen to be my fave.) I insist on opening my own bottle and off goes the cap flying through the room. Despite my extreme delayed reaction I look up in time to see the cap hitting the lil guy square in the head. He looks like he's having a miserable time and I just smoked him in the face, so now I feel obligated to talk to him. Sober Chassidy would be very embarrassed and avoid him at all costs. Drunk Chassidy was now sitting next to him. The football team had just lost miserably, so I asked him if he was on the team. Maybe that's why he looked like gloomy Gus. This conversation followed. "Are you on the team?" "Yeah." "Well you must not play." "Why do you say that?" "You're very small and you don't look like a football player." "No. I play." "Well you must not be very good. You are way too small the other guys must crush you." He just looks at me at this point. Now the Kicker jumps in. "Chassidy, this is Aaron. . . . The quarterback." All I can say is Oh. Fortunately everything else in the dorm room is a blur. Next thing I know I'm walking down the sidewalk wrapped in a blanket. I fall. Hard. I'm sure it has something to do with the blanket wrapped around my legs, but I'm even more certain I fall because my BAC is about 8. Well I woke up the next morning wrapped in the blanket with skinned palms and a killer hangover laying on the common room floor. I later found out that Aaron threw about 7 interceptions and was the single reason for the horrible loss. Wow. I felt like an ass hole. I never talked to Aaron again, but this is a little tribute to him. Why you ask? Well he is still the quarterback for UT and they just beat Michigan 13-10. He didn't throw any interceptions and I take full responsibility for that. Sorry I had to humiliate you, Aaron. But you've become a better person because of it.