Oh Really?

Take that hideous picture off of this blog site STAT. I look like Laura Ingles from Little House on the Prairie. Next time I decide to buy a cute summer dress I think I will take someone other than Grandma Joyce. (no offense to gma... but they think we look cute in anything) hm. well it has been quite an interesting month... where to begin. the beginning: first off, lets talk about work. lets talk about the fact that ever since the beginning of the semester and am taking microbiology i have become quite obsessed with bacteria. so much that in fact i religously put toilet paper on every single toilet seat i sit on. do you ever get mad when going to the restroom? i do. i get so pissed when im at school/work and have to use the bathroom and some asshole before me either pissed all over the seat or left a nice present of a pubic hair. f_ing disgusting ok. so anyway... im at work, do the little ritual of lining the toilet seat with TP and i sit. i had been drinking a bunch of water/iced tea... so lets just say i had to go A LOT. so i pee like a race horse and go to stand up. to my surprise i completely missed the toilet, the pee ricashaed (sp?) off the toilet onto the floor and all over my scrubs. there was honestly no turning back. i had to get new pants. so i stayed in the bathroom trying to figure out what the shit i was supposed to do, step out for a minutes. realize if anyone saw me i'd be f*ed- finally a nurse a comes by and i run back into the bathroom and yell her name. told her i started my period and i needed new pants. so 10 min later she brings new srubs, pads, towels (haha), and MESH PANTIES. mesh panties are the shit by the way. so now i have learned that sitting on a pube may be less hazardous then sitting very close to the edge to avoid any pee- the reality is... youll piss all over yourself.
last wednesday- so my ex and i break up with my ex and get mono. 3.5 weeks later i decide its time for me to leave the house and go have some fun. so i go out to a few bars and then go to GAYSERS. (chasers) i have been there 1 other time in my life and since my recent visit i will never be returning. so previous to walking in, i had a shot of grey goose, a shot known as a wet pussy (a old man bought me this. i dont want to talk about it) and 2 bloody marys (ya chass i like them now)... so hey, im feelin good at this point. walk in the door to chasers make my way around the bar. who do i see... like really who. the ex & his little friend. so for privacy issues we will just call them clark and dorothy. so i walk up to clark & dorothy and say "aw really its cute you 2 are back together." dorothy tries to explain they havent talked & she just walked up to him but i just gave clark and this bitch the stink eye and walked away. so then i proceed to have random guys i do not know buy me ridiculous shots. i was taking crown royal shots (im dry heaving thinking about it) and some other CRAZY shit. then i see clarks cousin and tell her the good news. she gets pissed, walks up to clark and dorothy and watches clark for a bit. the night goes on i continue to get beligerant and eventually run into them all again. i push clark- push his flat billed hat off haha and push dorothy. time goes on... i take a few more shots. to make a long story short... clarks cousin gets kicked out for pushing dorothy and starting a fight, im so incredibly blacked out i become cool with dorothy and at one point take a f*ing hit off of her cigarette. ive had ONE puff of a cigarette my whole life besides this, dont even know this girl, know i dont like this girl and im just sitting there talking to her puffing her slobbery cig. (if i dont want to kill myself by the end of reliving this...someone do it for me please.) so then somehow shireen and & meredith pull me out of the bar and take me home. i remember none of this but apparently i was demanding tbell. we pull in line and i fling open my door and begin to throw up. people are rooting me on. we leave... i am puking all the way home leaning my head outside. they get to my house- i puke in my front lawn. i manage to get myself inside. go to the first bathroom sit on the toilet -put the trash can on my lap and begin to puke. my mom comes down the stairs. i puke on my brand new $80 jeans she just bought me for my bday. and proceed to hysterical ball for 2 hrs while i throw up. this was the classiest night of my life thank you.

OH OH and just when think ive been shit on enough lately... go to tjmaxx yesterday and run into dorothy and her friend. WOW SERIOUSLY. im pretty sure i need to get the F out of this town.

thats all for now.