Here's to Sex on Sundays!

Well. I think it's safe to say the three contributors to this blog are a complete and utter shit-show. I'll remind you that last night was Sunday before I go on. I'll also inform you that I drank five beers in a half hour thanks to Sarah Farley's Mario Kart Marathon drinking game. Rules and Regulations: Four players, four beers. The object is to finish your beer before the Mario Kart race is over. No drinking and driving. Meaning (sorry i had to take a little time out because Milo was proceeding to stick his furry little face in my bowl of chicken soup) you have to race your little guy (Yoshi was mine) to the finish line but somewhere in the middle of the race you have to finish an entire beer. So if you cross the finish line first and your beer can isn't empty you lose. Needless to say because of my karting skills and my beer chugging abilities I was about five deep and Yoshi was going strong. After about a half hour of this nonsense and six beers later (in a half hour, mind you) we realized we killed an entire case of beer with Mario and the gang upstairs. What now, you ask? Well we then proceed to venture to the liquor stash in the freezer. I don't know if you've ever encountered a little something called cherry bernettes but it is not pretty, my friends. So we then take a few half-frozen (because it's so cheap) shots in the kitchen. What do we cheers to you ask? Good question. And the answer is one word one syllable. SEX. While everyone is cheersing (cheersing?) to having sex and then coming to the devastating realization that none of them are having it I proceed to yell "Here's to sex on sundays!" I'd like to add a little disclaimer onto this section of the story and go ahead and inform you that I do not remember this part of the evening.

We move on out to the front porch and drink on our little stoop. I'm assuming I was blacked-out by this point since I don't remember these events. Then my faithful boyfriend shows up around midnight. In my defense I gave him a fair four hour warning that if he came over at midnight after the movie he was at I was going to be very, very drunk. Apparently I sat on his lap in the front yard and talked to him about how I have to start planning my high school reunion because it is coming up in a year (or three). After this brilliant revelation of the upcoming high school reunion I need to plan I proceeded to hug my good buddy Brian a little too long. This wouldn't be such a big deal had I not sat on his lap on the porch after our awkwardly extended embrace with Anthony sitting a mere six feet away. Anthony and I decided to head for his house next door (avoiding the sidewalk at all costs, by the way) to hang out for a little bit and talk about my actions before I slip into an alcohol-induced coma. We got upstairs and did I have no idea what because I'm a raging alcoholic, fooled around (sorry about the graphic details), he gave me a safe sex talk, I got pissed, yelled at him for a half hour about awkward situations, and then I stumbled my happy ass back to the Doll House. I woke up with Milo on my head in the same clothes I was wearing last night with a horrid headache. The only time I have felt as hung over as I do today was one time freshman year when I threw up over the side of my lofted bunk bed, the day after the wedlock of my dear daddy-o and good old aim, or perhaps the day after Chassidy made me drink pickle wine and she peed all over my Dad's apartment.


I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is Anthony isn't mad anymore. I just got back from his house and he basically told me I'm an out of control drunkard but that he likes me anyway. For the entire half hour long fight last night he said he didn't say one word. Man I'm talkative after a few games of Mario Kart Marathon. As for the Brian thing, he didn't seem to notice last night so I think we're okay there. He went to a strip club in Canada so I think we're even. The bad news is I still feel like complete shit and I have to go to class at 4:30. My professor sent out an email to our class that said: "A very special thank you to all of you who participate and speak regularly in class but I am going to be calling on those who do not, be prepared." Well I'm not big on social graces (thank you, Garth Brooks) so you can bet that I have never once raised my hand to speak in that class. Perfect.


P.S.
Piss off, Jaimie
(happy birthday)