Let's get this up & running NOW.

Yeah.... that was totally worth humiliating myself for $25 gift cert. to Bel-Tire.

ooppss

I tried to spruce the blog up a bit with a new picture. I think I did something wrong.

I have been so disappointed with myself recently. During my last trip to Ohio (Court went well by the way) I broke my camera. Well to be correct, Nate knocked my camera out of Anthony's hands and now my lense is stuck open. So. I need to get a new camera. Without pictures, I feel I cannot post because I am a very visual person and I need the image in front of me. Anyway this is a nonsense post and I hope very soon we are all back to blogging. (maybe even a guest blogger or two!)


GoodNight. GoodNight. You're embarrassing me, you're embarrassing you.

Split the V dot the I swirl that CTORY!

So I don't have tons of time to update you all about what is going on in my life, but let's just say A LOT IS GOING ON. I got a dog. I went to court. I got a new bathing suit. I cleaned my carpet. I locked my keys in my car. Well I guess not a lot is going on, but I'm back to blogging and I'm running full speed ahead. SO WATCH OUT

Caroline Lately

I'd like to say that I'm proud of my actions but I cannot. Whilst the entire Sylvania and Bowling Green community think my near incarceration is humorous...after phone calls to parents, my name in the blotter (again), and setting up a time to meet with the BGSU dean of students... I cannot muster a laugh.

Who am I kidding?

This is freaking hilarious.

Texts/Comments I've gotten in the past week...


Brian Boesse- "I saw you in the paper you brawler you."

Joshua Duchant- "Caroline I read about you in the blotter, did you beat someone's ass last night?!"

Peter Day- "You and Chassidy are the talk around town."

Kristen Hess- "Will you sign my newspaper?"

Scott Stansley- "I read bout you in the paper, Pete and I will come visit you in jail."

Countless banter from Graham Sleet.. which I'm still having a hard time understanding.



Anyone else want to add to that? Laugh it up. You guys are just jealous that I get to go to jail and have amazing stories to tell when I get out.

Society is a Victim

Hello. My name is Chassidy and I have a problem.
Let me take you back to the night of Tuesday February 17th and the morning of Wednesday February 18th. We went to Dirty or Ugly (I'm not sure which one) Dave's. I volunteered to get hypnotized up on stage. Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for everyone around me I made it through a few elimination processes and did some ridiculous things i.e. Birthed a baby from a guy. Danced around the bar as the indian from the village people. and had an orgasm into the mic (Caroline was going to say it, so I thought I'd just be the one to break the news.) I then went to 2 bars and consumed a bit of alcohol. After taking at least 3 yeager bombs with a guy I don't remember I attempted to walk home with Caroline and Anthony. Caroline and I got tangled with eachother and fell on the ground and rolled around laughing. The cops drove by and from here on out I shall go through the police report.

2:28 am two females on the ground fighting (False). Male subject standing next to them. Exited my cruiser and separated them. Upon speaking with the females, Chassidy Ruch and Caroline Bass, I observed they both appeared to be highly intoxicated (true). Ruch had trouble standing without swaying and her speech was very slurred. (true). Bass also had slurred speech (True). Bass, Ruch and Fritz advised me they were not fighting. I explained to them to me it appeared as if they were fighting becasue they were on the ground rolling around. Ruch and Bass were seated in my cruiser. Officer Houser arrived on the scene. Fritz began to approach my cruiser, which was parked in the middle of the street. (true) Officer Houser had Fritz return to the side walk and speak with him. (1)

While in the back seat of my cruiser Bass and Ruch advised me they were both under 21 and had been drinking alcoholic beverages. (True) During the incident an unidentified male approached Officer Houser and began yelling in protest of me arresting Ruch and Bass. (true) The unidentified male and Fritz appeared to be highly intoxicated as well and refused to listen when they were advised to leave the area. (2) (True, True) Officer Houser had to advise Fritz several times if he continued to try and approach me at my cruiser he would be arrested for obstructing. (3, 4, 5) (True) At one point I raised my voice at Fritz and the unidentified male and advised them if they continued to cause a problem and refused to leave they would be arrested for obstructing. (6) (True) Fritz and the unidentified male began walking away although they continued yelling in protest. (True) I observed when they were approximately a block away they attempted to flag down Officer Davis to speak with him. (True)

After Fritz and the unidentified male were out of the area, I then preformed HGN eye tests on Ruch and Bass. (True) 6/6 clues were observed in both Ruch and Bass's eyes. (true) ("Did I pass?" "Umhmm, put your hands behind your back") Ruch and Bass were handcuffed and seated in the back of my cruiser. (True) While filing out the citation for both females they both advised they were going to vomit. ( true) I opened my cruiser doors so they could vomit. (False) I then activated my cruiser (112) video recorder and read them their Miranda Rights. (True) They advised me they did not want to answer any questions. (True and for a list of things from Jim on what not to do when you encounter an officer stay tuned) While completing the citation Ruch began vomiting all over herself and the inside of my crusier. (True, ha) I had a squad dispatched to attend to Ruch. (true. I was removed from the car and proceeded to vomit. While I was throwing up I was yelling to Caroline,"Don't say anything, We have rights.") I observed Fritz and the Unidentified male return to the scene. (7) (True) Fritz and the unidentified male refused to leave and approached my cruiser and began to protest the females being arrested. (8)(true) (stay tuned for police station story) Ruch was transported to the hospital (where I woke up with nothing but my bra and an open night gown on) and Bass was released to a sober roommate, Newell. (All True)

Prior to me leaving Fritz and the unidentified male approached my cruised and asked me for a ride home. (9) (True)

I won't type the other officer's report, but I will run through the best parts.

Fritz was visibly intoxicated and had a strong odor of alcoholic beverage emitting from his person. (True) I advised Fritz to shut his mouth an go home and that I had had enough of him. As I was advising Fritz to leave the area, a tall unidentified white male walked up and began stating, "This is bullshit. What the hell is going on? This is a bunch of bullshit." (True) The unidentified male walked up to me within arms reach and began smiling at me as if to taunt me. (True) The male asked why I pushed him. I stated neither of the officers ever laid hands on him. He insisted that I pushed him. I again advised that male and Fritz go home.

Nothing further your honor.

a give you a few months to maybe a year....

THEN YOU'LL THINK THIS IS FUNNY!!

Warning. Proceed with Caution

Viewing the photos in this post may cause fainting, screaming, orgasm, depression or all of the above. In honor of V-day and Twilight on DVD soon approaching I give you this gift. Click on the pics to enlarge.

ALL MY SINGLE LADIES!

cheers to being single on valentines day...for like the 5th year in a row.



glad to say however, i am in colorado surrounded my many high peak mountains... fantastic for plunging from.

I'm in Love, I'm in Love, and I Don't Care Who Knows It!

Aloha long-lost bloggys! I have been on hiatus due to the amount of school work I have been accomplishing on a daily basis.... HAAAAA! Actually I skipped Soc three times this week and I'm supposed to be in "Writing About Literature" as we speak. Whoops! Since the time of valen is rapidly approaching, I thought I'd give you (both of you) an infinitesimal update regarding Anthony and I. The good news is we're still going strong. He pisses me off maybe once every two weeks or so but nothing too crazy goes on, I just blow things out of proportion. I come by it honestly though seeing as Linda called me earlier this week and reported how many times Nicole calls her during the week... clearly insinuating that I am a terrible daughter. Funny thing is - I had called her two times less than Superstar Sister did. Anyways, Anthony and I are going to dinner tomorrow night at the restaurant Sarah works at (Spaghetti Warehouse) so that I can drink three glasses of Sangria before we do awkward present opening. Since I already got him an obnoxious dog and toys for him I do not have to deal with the shear madness of the mall today to find him something. This could potentially make present opening about six and a half times more awkward tomorrow since I am going to be the only one opening anything. Jackpot. I'll let you know how it goes.

Other than that I am happy to report that for once in my life I am actually into a guy who isn't a complete jackass. Cheers to that!

As you all know.... (all two of you)

I'm pretty creepy. I found this sweet website on Gay Kyle's facebook wall that shows you hands in the shape of ASL letters and you have to type what word it spells. So instead of doing my French, Psych or Anthropology homework I try to spell words in sign language.

If you got my grade cards from grades 1-8 you would see I always had a negative sign for "Uses time Wisely" Maybe those asshole teachers could have helped me with time management when I was 8 and I wouldn't be having this problem now that I'm 20.

Public Schools...What a Joke.

Just in case you guys have some time to waste-
http://asl.ms/

krow ta yadot

on the topic of relationships an 85 yr old woman told me today to "play the field" and "have my fun" hahaha she apparently has a few under her belt.


ive decided to take her advice. yes i plan on engaging in as many sexual relationships as possible (all in while, of trying to avoid getting an std), getting pregnant, having a baby ... JUST so i can go to school for free, recieve a monthly check, get good coupons on groceries, and further piss off and steal from hard-working americans.

(i guess i am a tad bitter, due to a pt today who had genital warts excised, had 3 kids, on welfare, and gets her college tuition for free.)

totallllllllllllly fare, i know right.

When you feel like blowing your place of work up....

is someone really doing that mystery shopping or is that a virus on this blog. i was stupid enough to just look at it once and now those websites blow my email up.


so... in regards to anyone recieving that free hair cut.... if you can avoid getting a bowl cut, mullet, or personal fave: a pineapple cut. let me know... somewhat intreged.

Calling all sneaky people

I have found my new passion: Secret Shopping.
On Monday I get to go get my hair cut FOR FREE.
You want me to punchasize your face?...FOR FREE



Updates on Mystery Shopping to come.

i cant breathe.

the mere thought of edward cullen makes me restless. today i started new moon and i just ended my days work at 400 pages. haha this is ridiculous im getting so incredibly pissed off that he hasnt come back to her yet. i need to pace myself because as soon as this book ends i fear or rather~ know i will be severely traumatized.

help.

crashed.

i have fallen into the obsession.

i am grossly obsessed with edward cullen.

eff this blog, you bitches never write in it.

need your help.

question......


does anyone know where i can find a pink starfish or maybe a pink patchwork stocking?

thanks.

WHERE IS THE MATERNITY FLOOR?!?!?!!?!

well not even going to lie.
work tonight....

so. im escorting a patient to the lobby when all of the sudden this guy flys through the doors with his pregnant wife in wheelchair frantically racing her around yelling where is the maternity ward. no joke it was straight from a movie. she was huffing puffing and red and he was practically crying and smiling at the same time because he was so excited his baby was coming. and... valet parking was backed up to the street because he just left his car in the mid driveway haaha. it made the top 10 list in my book for the month. cutest thing ever.

no caroline, i currently do not want a baby. i think its simply that time of season and im on my period so i am more susceptible to these moments.

Baby Blues

So I think I have a problem. When I'm not planning my wedding day all I can think about is my children. I want to have a baby right now soooo bad. It gets to the point where I just stare at people with small children with them. They think I'm a complete creeper but you know what? I don't care. I want a baby of my own that looks like me and is totally cute and tiny so freakin bad.

Prior to this junction in my life, I can honestly say that if there was some sort of new technology that could predict your baby's hair color when it still looked like a sea-monkey and the doc said mine's hair was red I would seriously consider aborting it and trying again. My current baby desire surpasses this red-haired-child phobia. I would take a red haired baby right this second and love it to pieces. Hell I would even name it Ginger if that's what it would take to have a baby right now.

Sooo Anthony and I were at the Lion's game recently. I was so hungover and tired that I was in mega bitch mode barely paying attention to the game when this little tiny love walks right down my row (that was empty because the lions blow) and sits right next to me. I immediately adore him. I look at Anthony with almost tears in my eyes this kid was so cute. He was wearing a teenie little Lions jersey with kakis and crocs. So he's got these rosy little cheeks and he's just looking up at me. I'm guessing he was two and a half or three. I said "Hey buddy I like your shoes." A wide little grin spreads across his face and he says "Yeah my Daddy got them for me" and points his tiny little index finger at his dad down the row who you know was thinking "Well this is just fucking great my kid wandered half down a row of chairs alone and is now sitting talking to some stranger, how in the hell am I going to get him back down here without gritting my teeth and sounding like a real asshole." So the Dad yells for him to come on and he looks up at me and smiles with no intention of leaving the chair next to mine. It took everything in me to say "Your daddy is calling you." He gets up and waves goodbye and it is taking everything in my power not to run and snatch him up and book it for the door.

So I'm in love with this kid at this point, not even noticing that I was at an NFL game. I look over at Anthony and tell him I want that kid sooo bad. Well needless to say I didn't kidnap this adorable little man. Anthony and I were watching a movie a few days later in his bed when the cutest little baby came on a commercial on tv. I then go on ranting and raving about how I want a kid and you know what he says with wide eyes right back at me?



Maybe we should consider getting you on birth control.