"Ridiculous is Totally our Thing"

I'd like to say that I'm proud of my actions but I cannot. Whilst the entire Sylvania and Bowling Green community think my near incarceration is humorous...after phone calls to parents, my name in the blotter (again), and setting up a time to meet with the BGSU dean of students... I cannot muster a laugh.

Who am I kidding?

This is freaking hilarious.

Texts/Comments I've gotten in the past week...

Brian Boesse- "I saw you in the paper you brawler you."

Joshua Duchant- "Caroline I read about you in the blotter, did you beat someone's ass last night?!"

Peter Day- "You and Chassidy are the talk around town."

Kristen Hess- "Will you sign my newspaper?"

Scott Stansley- "I read bout you in the paper, Pete and I will come visit you in jail."

Countless banter from Graham Sleet.. which I'm still having a hard time understanding.

Anyone else want to add to that? Laugh it up. You guys are just jealous that I get to go to jail and have amazing stories to tell when I get out.

Hello. My name is Chassidy and I have a problem.
Let me take you back to the night of Tuesday February 17th and the morning of Wednesday February 18th. We went to Dirty or Ugly (I'm not sure which one) Dave's. I volunteered to get hypnotized up on stage. Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for everyone around me I made it through a few elimination processes and did some ridiculous things i.e. Birthed a baby from a guy. Danced around the bar as the indian from the village people. and had an orgasm into the mic (Caroline was going to say it, so I thought I'd just be the one to break the news.) I then went to 2 bars and consumed a bit of alcohol. After taking at least 3 yeager bombs with a guy I don't remember I attempted to walk home with Caroline and Anthony. Caroline and I got tangled with eachother and fell on the ground and rolled around laughing. The cops drove by and from here on out I shall go through the police report.

2:28 am two females on the ground fighting (False). Male subject standing next to them. Exited my cruiser and separated them. Upon speaking with the females, Chassidy Ruch and Caroline Bass, I observed they both appeared to be highly intoxicated (true). Ruch had trouble standing without swaying and her speech was very slurred. (true). Bass also had slurred speech (True). Bass, Ruch and Fritz advised me they were not fighting. I explained to them to me it appeared as if they were fighting becasue they were on the ground rolling around. Ruch and Bass were seated in my cruiser. Officer Houser arrived on the scene. Fritz began to approach my cruiser, which was parked in the middle of the street. (true) Officer Houser had Fritz return to the side walk and speak with him. (1)

While in the back seat of my cruiser Bass and Ruch advised me they were both under 21 and had been drinking alcoholic beverages. (True) During the incident an unidentified male approached Officer Houser and began yelling in protest of me arresting Ruch and Bass. (true) The unidentified male and Fritz appeared to be highly intoxicated as well and refused to listen when they were advised to leave the area. (2) (True, True) Officer Houser had to advise Fritz several times if he continued to try and approach me at my cruiser he would be arrested for obstructing. (3, 4, 5) (True) At one point I raised my voice at Fritz and the unidentified male and advised them if they continued to cause a problem and refused to leave they would be arrested for obstructing. (6) (True) Fritz and the unidentified male began walking away although they continued yelling in protest. (True) I observed when they were approximately a block away they attempted to flag down Officer Davis to speak with him. (True)

After Fritz and the unidentified male were out of the area, I then preformed HGN eye tests on Ruch and Bass. (True) 6/6 clues were observed in both Ruch and Bass's eyes. (true) ("Did I pass?" "Umhmm, put your hands behind your back") Ruch and Bass were handcuffed and seated in the back of my cruiser. (True) While filing out the citation for both females they both advised they were going to vomit. ( true) I opened my cruiser doors so they could vomit. (False) I then activated my cruiser (112) video recorder and read them their Miranda Rights. (True) They advised me they did not want to answer any questions. (True and for a list of things from Jim on what not to do when you encounter an officer stay tuned) While completing the citation Ruch began vomiting all over herself and the inside of my crusier. (True, ha) I had a squad dispatched to attend to Ruch. (true. I was removed from the car and proceeded to vomit. While I was throwing up I was yelling to Caroline,"Don't say anything, We have rights.") I observed Fritz and the Unidentified male return to the scene. (7) (True) Fritz and the unidentified male refused to leave and approached my cruiser and began to protest the females being arrested. (8)(true) (stay tuned for police station story) Ruch was transported to the hospital (where I woke up with nothing but my bra and an open night gown on) and Bass was released to a sober roommate, Newell. (All True)

Prior to me leaving Fritz and the unidentified male approached my cruised and asked me for a ride home. (9) (True)

I won't type the other officer's report, but I will run through the best parts.

Fritz was visibly intoxicated and had a strong odor of alcoholic beverage emitting from his person. (True) I advised Fritz to shut his mouth an go home and that I had had enough of him. As I was advising Fritz to leave the area, a tall unidentified white male walked up and began stating, "This is bullshit. What the hell is going on? This is a bunch of bullshit." (True) The unidentified male walked up to me within arms reach and began smiling at me as if to taunt me. (True) The male asked why I pushed him. I stated neither of the officers ever laid hands on him. He insisted that I pushed him. I again advised that male and Fritz go home.

Nothing further your honor.